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Failed Resolution? Read this!

Failed Resolution? Read this!

by | Feb 3, 2021 | Thoughts & Things

You are SO excited!  You’ve set your mind to it and you are going all in on achieving it this year! ?

You are more committed than you’ve ever been and you know that life will be so much easier when you do it.

Curious now? Wondering what ‘it’ is??

‘It’ is…….

  • Keeping a postive mindset
  • Mastering a new skill that will change the way you work
  • Starting a business that will give you more freedom
  • Opening yourself up to dating again
  • Loosing that quaratine 15 (Chapter 2) ?
  • Building that website you’ve been wanting forever
  • Learning to meditate
  • Never raising your voice to the kids (even when those little ears simply beg for the psycho Mom voice ? )

‘It’ is interchangeable.  Basically, ‘it’ is whatever you’ve resolved you need to do to improve your life in 2021.

You’ve spent all this time thinking how it will change your life as of January 1st. Improve things drastically, be so friggin’ amazing that you’ll experience all the feels you anticipated. ??

But then, it just doesn’t work out that way ?

Maybe something goes wrong, throwing a wrench into your well thought out, carefully crafted, no fail plan and your ‘don’t take no for an answer’ attitude just…doesn’t….work.

Relatable? We’ve all done it ?

Had our hopes wrapped up in something that would solve our problems, that in reality just falls flat when we start.  

It can be devestating. It can be frustrating. It can actually have you accepting that it’s never going to happen, and ironically, most of us reach that conclusion…….at approximately this time of year LOL

Here’s what you need to know…..

The decision to do something is the easy part.  The practise of making it happen is exactly that – a practise.

Let’s say ‘It’ is actively being grateful for what you already have. You’ve read about how it does amazing things for people, changes their perspective and as a result things just start to fall into place. Word on the street is being grateful makes you a happier person, has you finding better opportunities and higher levels of success and of course you want that!

So Jan 1st……it is on!! ?

That first day is such a rush.  The excitement of creating change does wonders for your mood.  You pay for the car behind you in the drive thru.  You wait to hold a door open for someone when you stop at the bank machine.  It’s sunny and gorgeous outside and it’s quite possibly the nicest day this winter!

Man…..have you done it or what?? Being grateful is amazeballs!! ??

You tuck yourself into bed that night and for the first time in so long you feel hopeful and excited for tomorrow.

You wake up for day 2 of your new life living the dream and you are feeling on fire! ?

No – literally – you are on fire, burning up in fact ?

BUT THAT’S OK!! You got this……you can be grateful even when you aren’t feeling your best.  Pushing through because its day 2 of your amazing new life.  You are grateful and that’s all you need!

Fast forward to day 5……and you are so damn tired.  It’s shitty and rainy outside on your way to work, some idiot just cut you off and when you finally get into the parking lot, you barely get shifted into park when you’ve got no other option but to grab your purse because you are going to be sick…..like NOW! ??

Still feeling grateful? Still feeling all the feels from making that amazing decision that will change your life?

You’re definitely feeling something, but it may be more along the lines of a teensy, tiny bit of rage ? *insert the curse word most frequently used in your car when you’re alone here*

Why can’t things just happen like you thought they would? You don’t feel better – you actually (and obviously according to the inside of your Kate Spade ?) feel worse.

So what went wrong? It’s actually far less complicated than you think!

A) You got the flu….. and B) Let’s throw it back to what I said before…..

The decision to do something is the EASY part. The practise of making it happen is exactly that, a PRACTISE!

For some reason we expect ourselves to make these monumental changes, start these big undertakings and emotionally expect the benefits NOW.

Hello failure.

Imagine an aquaintance tells you they are going to plan start speaking Chinese because it will greatly improve communication within their business.  Random I know, but just go with it ?

The next day you see this acquaintance again and they are devestated because they just can’t do it! They can’t speak Chinese ?

Well no shit, you think! ??  You have to learn it and practise it before you can expect to excel at it?!

Hmmm….so considering that….. how come you’re devestated that your new life living with gratitude is already a disaster? Don’t you have to learn and practise it before you can expect to excel at it?

Ooofff……direct hit ?? 

So get back up, dust yourself off and PRACTISE.  Everyday.  Especially on the days where you just don’t feel like ‘it’ will ever happen for you.

You CAN have ‘it’. Just start being kind to yourself and stop expecting instant results. The reward will be that much sweeter when you reach ‘it’ ?

Thanks for listening,

Carrie xo

 

www.cihairstudio.ca

 

 

 

 

 

Beauty – There’s nothing ‘superficial’ about it!

Beauty – There’s nothing ‘superficial’ about it!

by | Jan 18, 2021 | Thoughts & Things

On a recent trip to the rabbit hole ?  of scrolling Facebook, I came across a post in response to a comment the original poster received on a previous post, where someone had called her ‘superficial’.

I found her rebuttal both interesting and very thought provoking.

She reasoned she wasn’t superficial because she didn’t waste her money on things like getting her hair ??‍♀️ and nails ?? done, as well as a few other personal services also deemed to live within the superficial category.

Hmmmmm………?

It’s taken me a good chunk of time to write about this simply due to the desire to suppress the verbal diarrhea rant that first occurred after reading it ?

Now, after some organization (and edits, lol) I want to share my thoughts, but first wanted to be sure I was defining superficial as it is meant to be, so I did a quick Google!

su-per-fi-cial Adjective: not having or showing any depth of character or understanding.  Similar words: surface, skin-deep

Ex. ‘Perhaps I was a superficial person’

And just to make sure I’m not choosing a convenient definition to support my cleaned up rant, there is also this definition: Existing or occurring at or on the surface.  Similar words: surface, exterior, external, outer.  Ex. The building suffered only superficial damage’. 

I get it.  Hair and nails are on the surface, visible on the exterior for all to see.

No argument there from me!

But how does a person having their hair and nails done equate to them ‘not having or showing any depth of character or understanding’ ?

Oh that’s right, IT DOESN’T!! ?

This is what I love (and hate) about Facebook.  So many thought provoking posts made everyday with opportunities to see things from another’s point of view.

I assure you I did not don my amour and keyboard warrior ??‍?  in the comments of the post.  She expressed her opinion and I respected it.  And then, I scrolled lol ??‍♀️

Here’s the point I’m trying to make:

It’s all about what getting your hair and/or nails done means to YOU. How it makes you FEEL?

I can bet it doesn’t make you feel superficial, does it? Lol

Women choosing to look after themselves in the way that makes them feel good is not superficial.  Don’t ever apologize for placing value on the way personal services make you feel.  That feeling you get? The confidence, the enjoyment, the contentment?

That’s self care.

And on no planet, including earth ?  does choosing hair or nails mean you lack depth of character or understanding.

Are hair and nails a necessity? Nope.

They are a luxury and as such, are an easy target for negativity from those who don’t choose to place value on, or draw positive feelings from having them done.

I don’t know about you but I’m a much happier person when I put myself on my priority list.  So much happier in fact that I don’t care if I’m criticized for what I choose as my self care.

You have to look yourself in the mirror everyday so do what makes you feel good ?

And I can tell you, without a shadow of a doubt, that I felt damn good typing this out with nails so blinged out I couldn’t help but stop to admire them ??  ✨

DO YOU, AND NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR IT!

 Thanks for listening,

Carrie

www.cihairstudio.ca

Fake it ’til you make it?

Fake it ’til you make it?

by | Dec 10, 2020 | Thoughts & Things

We’re throwin’ back for this one ?  Yup – this is me, circa 2007 doing my first ever photoshoot! You’ll get why I dug this little gem of a pic up soon, so please read on!  Carrie xo

 

Fake it ’til you make it!

I find no matter who I talk to there is either a view of ‘Yes! Absolutely!’ or, ‘No! You should never fake it!’ ??‍♀️

We all know that what appears on the outside is rarely the same as what’s going on, on the inside.

Social Media has compounded this incredibly.  Always showing the happy moments. Curating content for business and personal brands that show the blooming garden, but not the past planting of the seeds. Never the bump in the road but the victories in the end.

So are they faking it til they make it?

This may lead you to think that ‘faking it’ is always negative or done with deceptive intentions, and while I’m sure this may be the case for some, there is an entire other motivation to consider.

The motivation of growth ?

Growth can only happen when:

  1. You are open to it
  2. You know where you want to end up
  3. You commit to the process

‘Fake it ’til you make it’ actually changed my life.  Not joking!

Let me explain why this is actually a positive in my life and how utilizing it allowed me to have the growth that I desired.

I love being a Mom ?  I wouldn’t trade it for anything.  Staying home with them when they were young was a priviledge, and I am aware a lot of people don’t have that option.  I balanced doing services for friends and family, working during naps ? , after they went down for the night, feeding in the middle of a haircut ?, you name it, I did it to try and balance things ?

The problem? I wanted more for my career. Waaaaay more.

I had dreams.  BIG dreams, but they seemed so far off.  So far in fact that they were just dreams. No timeline, no plan, just those ‘someday’ type of dreams ?

And then one day, I had a huge wake up moment about those dreams.

It was 2005 ish, a day like any other, balancing the Mom life and work life. For whatever reason (thank you universe ? ), something just clicked.

Dressed in jogging pants and a t-shirt, I greeted my client at the front door of my house and we walked down to my hair room in the basement. I slid my clogs on while my client was taking a seat, and realized there was a giant spit up stain on my joggers.

It’s Mom life, I get it, but after I finished that client and walked him out the door, I realized that if I wanted those dreams I thought about all the time, I HAD to start showing up every single day as the person I wanted to become ? ? ? ?

And so I did.

I started living the ‘fake it ’til I make it’ life ??

I changed the way I dressed. Why? Because my dream me didn’t show up everyday in jogging pants with spit up on them, however comfortable they may be.

I changed my work environment. I created the best professional version of where dream me would work, in the room I currently had available.

I educated myself in the way that dream me would do everyday.

I connected with people, like dream me would confidently do, and found mentors already doing the things that I wanted to do. I soaked up every bit of knowledge from them that I could.

I faked the shit out of my life.

And guess what happened?

I got more referrals.  Clients started responding to me differently.  The confidence I showed on the outside was being built brick by brick on the inside.

I started living the way I would if I had already attained my goals.

And guess what happened then?

I attained them!

Fake it ’til you make it doesn’t have to be dishonest.  I never lied to people, I was always honest in my skillset and what I was capable of.  I just lived my life as the person I wanted to become.  I made choices the way ‘she’ would make them.  I dressed, acted, reacted and accepted responsibility for my life like ‘she’ would.

It was the best (and one of the most difficult) things I ever did, which leads us to today.

I’m still doing it. Every.Single.Day ?

It’s not immediate. It’s not a quick fix.  It takes time and effort and determination, but in the end (and even in the process) it is SO rewarding.

That picture of me I said we’d wind back to? That was me, two years after I decided my future self did not show up in jogging pants with spit up on them.

That was me, doing the things I had dreamed of doing before (like a photoshoot), and already working to put even bigger dreams in motion, because that’s exactly what ‘she’ would do.

Just try it.  You never know what can happen! But if you decide to try, do yourself a favour and COMMIT.  Even on the hard days.  Even on the days you don’t think you are making progress.  Just keep on doing it.

Be the person you want to become and most importantly, enjoy the ride that gets you there.

You can be anything you want to be ?

Thanks for listening,

Carrie

www.cihairstudio.ca

 

 

 

That Red Light Feeling

That Red Light Feeling

by | Jul 28, 2020 | Thoughts & Things

Ever feel like you are hitting every single red light? ?  ? Sitting and drumming your fingers on the steering wheel, creeping slowly forward as you wait for it to turn green? Praying everyone in front of you spontaneously decides to turn right just so you can get moving? ?   It’s 11:20, you were supposed to be there at 11:15, and now you’re running late all because the dog was an asshat and preferred to roll in the grass instead of just taking the required ?  on it, so you could fly out the door! ??‍♀️ You know the feeling. Frustrated, living the longest seconds of your life ⏰  unable to take any kind of action that can move you forward. It’s the ‘Red Light Feeling’.

The ‘Red Light Feeling’ happens to all of us in our day to day life.

Super busy, fitting in as much as possible and becoming frustrated when something or someone interferes.  Wanting to do something, that for whatever reason, you literally can’t do.  Things like wanting to……. …leave a performance review before its finished? …hang up the phone long before the other person feels the conversation is over? Or what about….. …watching your toddler take 5 years to get their shoes tied? …staring at your partner while the steam slowly escapes from your ears ?  just waiting for them to acknowledge you are actually talking to them? Or what about the intensity of the feeling as grows leaps and bounds when you realize someone just doesn’t ‘get’ your red light life. Maybe having to bite your tongue ?  as you… …listen to someone tell you that it doesn’t matter that your child has special needs inside a classroom and that he’ll have to change his behaviour anyway? ? …wait 8 months to see a Specialist and no matter how desperately you need your situation to change, you have to sit at that ‘red light’ and listen while your thread of hope is once again swiftly cut, as they just suggest the things you’ve already tried 1, 567, 298 times? ? Those moments that you can’t stand to endure another second, but through physical, emotional or social barriers you are stuck. Whether for a minute, an hour, a month or even years, we all experience that ‘red light feeling’? Some people live these moments on repeat.  Some experience them simply because they choose not to remedy them – not leaving a few minutes earlier or not making different choices that could relieve them of experiencing the feeling. Some people live these moments constantly through years 1-18 of raising children ?‍? Some live these moments constantly as an individual with an ‘invisible’ chronic problem. Whatever the situation, it boils down to one thing – the DESIRE to do or change SOMETHING that a barrier (in any form) stops you from doing. So why talk about it? ?  If we all experience it what’s the big deal? ??‍♀️

Here’s the thing….we are all guilty of loosing perspective.  All of us.

We are all guilty of loosing sight of what is merely a red light inconvenience, and what essentially amounts to a red light life. You know what I think someone dealing with a Red Light Life day in and day out wants you to know? It’s just a red light you nut!! ??‍♀️  Take a deep breath, leave 5 minutes earlier next time, turn right if you’d like and most of all be grateful that these are your ‘problems’. Yes, I said be grateful. Keeping some perspective about a situation is a necessary practise and if hearing someone tell you that becomes a trigger, it’s more than likely true for you. Sorry, not sorry!! ? Life is not a comparison of ‘problems’ but sometimes everyone can use a gentle reminder of when its worth getting fired up ?and when you should actually be grateful that this is the worst thing that’s impacting your day ? And maybe, just maybe when we recognize someone actually living a red light life, we’ll send them love even if we can’t begin to understand the enormity of their situation.

The moral of this story? I’m calling myself out.

That asshat dog? He’s mine ??‍♀️ That red light? That was me sitting at the wheel drumming my fingers. And now at the end of my day, after some much needed reflection, I’ve decided that red light was my ‘right place at the right time’ reminder, that today was really a problem free, amazing day ? The next time I’m at a red light, late or not, I’ll be grateful for the perspective reminder. Life is good.  Don’t get wrapped up in the small inconveniences.  Do everything you can to keep your perspective and most of all – be grateful. Thanks for listening, Carrie www.cihairstudio.ca      
Why is Perception so Important?

Why is Perception so Important?

by | Jul 24, 2020 | Thoughts & Things

Perception is an interesting thing.  It’s like a personal lens through which we see ourselves and the things around us.

Imagine two women, the first we’ll name ‘Jen’ and the second we’ll name ‘Judy’ ?  Both are shown the same bracelet. It’s white, a little dingy, and woven together with a bit of pink thread to create a short, solid band. On each end longer pink threads hang loosely, crimped along their length possibly from being tied.

When asked to describe the bracelet ‘Jen’ seems a little annoyed ?  and doesn’t give the bracelet a second glance as she says…

‘It’s one of those bracelets, you know the silly kind you give to your friends as kids? The kind everybody wore around to signify they were part of the “popular” crowd.  Like they were a badge of honour or something.’ She laughs a bit and continues ‘So stupid to carry on about them the way the kids I went to school with did!’

After she finishes ‘Judy’ seems saddened by Jen’s description ?  and proceeds to describe the bracelet she has now picked up and holds in her hand.

‘This is a friendship bracelet! I made one exactly like this for my best friend and we wore them everyday! We made them out of embroidery thread so they were soft just like this one is.  I loved wearing it because it kind of made me feel like I was a part of something when I saw my bestie wearing the exact same bracelet.’

After Judy finishes the two women look at each other for a minute, Jen rolling her eyes and Judy almost confused as she watches Jen’s reaction.

How can the exact same thing be described so differently?  Shouldn’t both women see it the same way?  It’s simply white thread woven together with some pink here and there! ??‍♀️

Although that may be an accurate physical description of what the item is, Jen and Judy’s perception of the bracelet, created by their own personal experiences, is what they described.

Think of it like this….. If you slipped on a pair of pink tinted sunglasses ?  the white bracelet would appear pink.  If you put on a pair of blue tinted sunglasses ?  the white bracelet would of course look blue.

 

Perception is as individual as the colours in the rainbow?, and the best part is you can take off the glasses ? you’re wearing at any time.

 

Your perception is the sum of your experiences.  How you see yourself, your height, weight, hair, facial features, etc, etc, carries the weight or ‘tint’, of past life experiences both good and bad.  That little remark made in good fun at 14 that you were ‘curvy’ may still be affecting the way you think you look.  Being told your skin has a rough texture by a well meaning aesthetician during a facial, may still make you second guess needing a second layer of foundation every morning.

Every experience you have adds to the ‘tint’ of your sunglasses.  And they add up fast ?

 

But here’s the thing. You can choose to take off the tinted glasses ?

 

You can ‘take off’ or let go of what is continuing to effect your perception. To decide to see yourself in a new way and start building a better, newer perception of yourself and your life.

Don’t believe me? Try it next time you find yourself seeing something completely differently from someone else.  Try it next time you have a differing opinion from someone.  There literally could not be a better time to try this.  Opinions and criticisms are rampant on social media. As you scroll, when something gets you worked up ask yourself if there is some experience in your past that is ‘tinting’ your view.  Challenge yourself to open up to a different perspective.

Do you really need to keep your tinted glasses ?  on or can you remove them?

Can you change your perception on something you struggle with and start feeling lighter and happier leaving behind those old experiences that are no longer your reality behind?

I hope you’ll try it.  This is personal growth babe ?

Thanks for listening,

Carrie

www.cihairstudio.ca

 

 

 

“If You Aren’t Growing, you’re Dying”

“If You Aren’t Growing, you’re Dying”

by | Apr 8, 2020 | Thoughts & Things

There’s this saying in business:

“If you aren’t growing, you’re dying.”

It’s something I’ve always been conscious about but have also learned relates to so much more than just business.

It is an essential element of achieving pretty much anything we aspire to.

We are taught to go to school Monday through Friday for our entire childhood and teen years.  Once we’ve chosen our career we’re to go to school some more.  A few more months or years of the learning process. We are essentially, year after year, forced to grow.

We are challenged mentally, emotionally and even physically (late nights studying, early mornings at a part time job to pay off the full time education).

And then it stops. No more school. We are finally ready to adult!

We start working in our career with the illusion that we’ve learned it all.

Depending on your chosen career you may literally have learned it all but for most I’d say there is always something else to learn.

It’s different now though.  You’re adulting. You’re responsible for your committment, for holding yourself accountable.  There is no Teacher, no one to hold your hand and force you to sit for 6 hours a day until you get it. 

Your advancement, or lack there of, is entirely within your control. An idea so exhillirating you can’t wait to make it happen! Adulting for the win!  

You know what you have to learn.  You know how to do it, you’ve seen it done, and lots of others around you have accomplished it so there’s no way you won’t get it!

And yet, no matter how hard you try, you are unable to make progress.  You try and try and still no progress. Frustration is rampant, lack of confidence is finding its way into your mind and what once seemed so easy is now close to impossible.

Remember the saying? “If you aren’t growing, you’re dying.”

I’ve definitely experienced this myself. I’ve also seen it happen to Stylists at countless stages in the learning process and unfortunatley, sometimes the hurdle proves too difficult to overcome.

We all get caught up on the skill itself, not paying attention to what we are thinking or saying to ourselves about our progress.  We fail to recognize things that have become habits, even ones that may be working against our efforts.

Growing is about more than the skills. 

People stop growing, or fail to progress because the pain of not having ‘X’ (insert whatever you really want here) just isn’t great enough.

Relax – its not my intent to offend – its just the honest truth. I’ve personally experienced it many times. When you desperately want something how much are you willing to change to get it?

Enough to get completely out of your comfort zone and change your habits? Enough to grow your mindset by working through some incredibly tough limiting beliefs?  Enough to ask for help? How far out of your comfort zone are you really willing to get?

Just like in business, if you aren’t growing by working on your mindset and beliefs, there is no progression.

In my very small corner of the world I’ve actually never seen someone acheive what they so desperatley wanted, without having to do the inner work first. As soon as the inner work happens, things magically change.

Great leaders and visionairies, the people we look up to that can seem to do no wrong.  Those that come by their skills naturally and climb both professional and social ladders with ease? These people work twice as hard on their mindset and habits as they do on the skills in their career.

They are badasses at personal growth.

They push out of their comfort zones and recognize quickly and easily when they are holding themselves back.

The most interesting thing about this is that people who are stuck, coming up against the same obstacle time and time again, aren’t even aware of needing to invest in their personal growth.  What they do know is that life is hard and no matter how much they try, they just aren’t making the progress they desire.  It is always because an entire list of excuses for why what they did didn’t work.

We don’t know, what we don’t know.

The change of habits and pursuit of personal growth can be modeled.  It can be discussed, suggested, even taught, but until the pain of a situation is too great to bare, nothing will happen.

Sometimes people choose not to grow personally.  The choice is to take the easy route, bypass personal growth and simply pick up the same cycle in a new place, with new people and expect a different end result. It becomes an everlasting pursuit to find where it will get easier.

Stop searching. Start looking inside.

You have the ability to do whatever you dream of.  I know its not easy, but it will be the biggest gift you ever give yourself.

Just look inside.

Thanks for listening,

Carrie

www.cihairstudio.ca

 

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