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That Red Light Feeling

That Red Light Feeling

Ever feel like you are hitting every single red light? 🛑  🚦 Sitting and drumming your fingers on the steering wheel, creeping slowly forward as you wait for it to turn green? Praying everyone in front of you spontaneously decides to turn right just so you can get moving? 💨   It’s 11:20, you were supposed to be there at 11:15, and now you’re running late all because the dog was an asshat and preferred to roll in the grass instead of just taking the required 💩  on it, so you could fly out the door! 🤦🏼‍♀️ You know the feeling. Frustrated, living the longest seconds of your life ⏰  unable to take any kind of action that can move you forward. It’s the ‘Red Light Feeling’.

The ‘Red Light Feeling’ happens to all of us in our day to day life.

Super busy, fitting in as much as possible and becoming frustrated when something or someone interferes.  Wanting to do something, that for whatever reason, you literally can’t do.  Things like wanting to……. …leave a performance review before its finished? …hang up the phone long before the other person feels the conversation is over? Or what about….. …watching your toddler take 5 years to get their shoes tied? …staring at your partner while the steam slowly escapes from your ears 😤  just waiting for them to acknowledge you are actually talking to them? Or what about the intensity of the feeling as grows leaps and bounds when you realize someone just doesn’t ‘get’ your red light life. Maybe having to bite your tongue 🤭  as you… …listen to someone tell you that it doesn’t matter that your child has special needs inside a classroom and that he’ll have to change his behaviour anyway? 🤯 …wait 8 months to see a Specialist and no matter how desperately you need your situation to change, you have to sit at that ‘red light’ and listen while your thread of hope is once again swiftly cut, as they just suggest the things you’ve already tried 1, 567, 298 times? 😢 Those moments that you can’t stand to endure another second, but through physical, emotional or social barriers you are stuck. Whether for a minute, an hour, a month or even years, we all experience that ‘red light feeling’🛑 Some people live these moments on repeat.  Some experience them simply because they choose not to remedy them – not leaving a few minutes earlier or not making different choices that could relieve them of experiencing the feeling. Some people live these moments constantly through years 1-18 of raising children 👩‍👧 Some live these moments constantly as an individual with an ‘invisible’ chronic problem. Whatever the situation, it boils down to one thing – the DESIRE to do or change SOMETHING that a barrier (in any form) stops you from doing. So why talk about it? 🤔  If we all experience it what’s the big deal? 🤷🏼‍♀️

Here’s the thing….we are all guilty of loosing perspective.  All of us.

We are all guilty of loosing sight of what is merely a red light inconvenience, and what essentially amounts to a red light life. You know what I think someone dealing with a Red Light Life day in and day out wants you to know? It’s just a red light you nut!! 🤷🏼‍♀️  Take a deep breath, leave 5 minutes earlier next time, turn right if you’d like and most of all be grateful that these are your ‘problems’. Yes, I said be grateful. Keeping some perspective about a situation is a necessary practise and if hearing someone tell you that becomes a trigger, it’s more than likely true for you. Sorry, not sorry!! 😬 Life is not a comparison of ‘problems’ but sometimes everyone can use a gentle reminder of when its worth getting fired up 🔥and when you should actually be grateful that this is the worst thing that’s impacting your day 💗 And maybe, just maybe when we recognize someone actually living a red light life, we’ll send them love even if we can’t begin to understand the enormity of their situation.

The moral of this story? I’m calling myself out.

That asshat dog? He’s mine 🤦🏼‍♀️ That red light? That was me sitting at the wheel drumming my fingers. And now at the end of my day, after some much needed reflection, I’ve decided that red light was my ‘right place at the right time’ reminder, that today was really a problem free, amazing day 😎 The next time I’m at a red light, late or not, I’ll be grateful for the perspective reminder. Life is good.  Don’t get wrapped up in the small inconveniences.  Do everything you can to keep your perspective and most of all – be grateful. Thanks for listening, Carrie www.cihairstudio.ca      
Why is Perception so Important?

Why is Perception so Important?

Perception is an interesting thing.  It’s like a personal lens through which we see ourselves and the things around us.

Imagine two women, the first we’ll name ‘Jen’ and the second we’ll name ‘Judy’ 😉  Both are shown the same bracelet. It’s white, a little dingy, and woven together with a bit of pink thread to create a short, solid band. On each end longer pink threads hang loosely, crimped along their length possibly from being tied.

When asked to describe the bracelet ‘Jen’ seems a little annoyed 🙄  and doesn’t give the bracelet a second glance as she says…

‘It’s one of those bracelets, you know the silly kind you give to your friends as kids? The kind everybody wore around to signify they were part of the “popular” crowd.  Like they were a badge of honour or something.’ She laughs a bit and continues ‘So stupid to carry on about them the way the kids I went to school with did!’

After she finishes ‘Judy’ seems saddened by Jen’s description 😔  and proceeds to describe the bracelet she has now picked up and holds in her hand.

‘This is a friendship bracelet! I made one exactly like this for my best friend and we wore them everyday! We made them out of embroidery thread so they were soft just like this one is.  I loved wearing it because it kind of made me feel like I was a part of something when I saw my bestie wearing the exact same bracelet.’

After Judy finishes the two women look at each other for a minute, Jen rolling her eyes and Judy almost confused as she watches Jen’s reaction.

How can the exact same thing be described so differently?  Shouldn’t both women see it the same way?  It’s simply white thread woven together with some pink here and there! 🤷🏼‍♀️

Although that may be an accurate physical description of what the item is, Jen and Judy’s perception of the bracelet, created by their own personal experiences, is what they described.

Think of it like this….. If you slipped on a pair of pink tinted sunglasses 👓  the white bracelet would appear pink.  If you put on a pair of blue tinted sunglasses 👓  the white bracelet would of course look blue.

 

Perception is as individual as the colours in the rainbow🌈, and the best part is you can take off the glasses 👓 you’re wearing at any time.

 

Your perception is the sum of your experiences.  How you see yourself, your height, weight, hair, facial features, etc, etc, carries the weight or ‘tint’, of past life experiences both good and bad.  That little remark made in good fun at 14 that you were ‘curvy’ may still be affecting the way you think you look.  Being told your skin has a rough texture by a well meaning aesthetician during a facial, may still make you second guess needing a second layer of foundation every morning.

Every experience you have adds to the ‘tint’ of your sunglasses.  And they add up fast 💨

 

But here’s the thing. You can choose to take off the tinted glasses 👓

 

You can ‘take off’ or let go of what is continuing to effect your perception. To decide to see yourself in a new way and start building a better, newer perception of yourself and your life.

Don’t believe me? Try it next time you find yourself seeing something completely differently from someone else.  Try it next time you have a differing opinion from someone.  There literally could not be a better time to try this.  Opinions and criticisms are rampant on social media. As you scroll, when something gets you worked up ask yourself if there is some experience in your past that is ‘tinting’ your view.  Challenge yourself to open up to a different perspective.

Do you really need to keep your tinted glasses 👓  on or can you remove them?

Can you change your perception on something you struggle with and start feeling lighter and happier leaving behind those old experiences that are no longer your reality behind?

I hope you’ll try it.  This is personal growth babe 😘

Thanks for listening,

Carrie

www.cihairstudio.ca

 

 

 

“If You Aren’t Growing, you’re Dying”

“If You Aren’t Growing, you’re Dying”

There’s this saying in business:

“If you aren’t growing, you’re dying.”

It’s something I’ve always been conscious about but have also learned relates to so much more than just business.

It is an essential element of achieving pretty much anything we aspire to.

We are taught to go to school Monday through Friday for our entire childhood and teen years.  Once we’ve chosen our career we’re to go to school some more.  A few more months or years of the learning process. We are essentially, year after year, forced to grow.

We are challenged mentally, emotionally and even physically (late nights studying, early mornings at a part time job to pay off the full time education).

And then it stops. No more school. We are finally ready to adult!

We start working in our career with the illusion that we’ve learned it all.

Depending on your chosen career you may literally have learned it all but for most I’d say there is always something else to learn.

It’s different now though.  You’re adulting. You’re responsible for your committment, for holding yourself accountable.  There is no Teacher, no one to hold your hand and force you to sit for 6 hours a day until you get it. 

Your advancement, or lack there of, is entirely within your control. An idea so exhillirating you can’t wait to make it happen! Adulting for the win!  

You know what you have to learn.  You know how to do it, you’ve seen it done, and lots of others around you have accomplished it so there’s no way you won’t get it!

And yet, no matter how hard you try, you are unable to make progress.  You try and try and still no progress. Frustration is rampant, lack of confidence is finding its way into your mind and what once seemed so easy is now close to impossible.

Remember the saying? “If you aren’t growing, you’re dying.”

I’ve definitely experienced this myself. I’ve also seen it happen to Stylists at countless stages in the learning process and unfortunatley, sometimes the hurdle proves too difficult to overcome.

We all get caught up on the skill itself, not paying attention to what we are thinking or saying to ourselves about our progress.  We fail to recognize things that have become habits, even ones that may be working against our efforts.

Growing is about more than the skills. 

People stop growing, or fail to progress because the pain of not having ‘X’ (insert whatever you really want here) just isn’t great enough.

Relax – its not my intent to offend – its just the honest truth. I’ve personally experienced it many times. When you desperately want something how much are you willing to change to get it?

Enough to get completely out of your comfort zone and change your habits? Enough to grow your mindset by working through some incredibly tough limiting beliefs?  Enough to ask for help? How far out of your comfort zone are you really willing to get?

Just like in business, if you aren’t growing by working on your mindset and beliefs, there is no progression.

In my very small corner of the world I’ve actually never seen someone acheive what they so desperatley wanted, without having to do the inner work first. As soon as the inner work happens, things magically change.

Great leaders and visionairies, the people we look up to that can seem to do no wrong.  Those that come by their skills naturally and climb both professional and social ladders with ease? These people work twice as hard on their mindset and habits as they do on the skills in their career.

They are badasses at personal growth.

They push out of their comfort zones and recognize quickly and easily when they are holding themselves back.

The most interesting thing about this is that people who are stuck, coming up against the same obstacle time and time again, aren’t even aware of needing to invest in their personal growth.  What they do know is that life is hard and no matter how much they try, they just aren’t making the progress they desire.  It is always because an entire list of excuses for why what they did didn’t work.

We don’t know, what we don’t know.

The change of habits and pursuit of personal growth can be modeled.  It can be discussed, suggested, even taught, but until the pain of a situation is too great to bare, nothing will happen.

Sometimes people choose not to grow personally.  The choice is to take the easy route, bypass personal growth and simply pick up the same cycle in a new place, with new people and expect a different end result. It becomes an everlasting pursuit to find where it will get easier.

Stop searching. Start looking inside.

You have the ability to do whatever you dream of.  I know its not easy, but it will be the biggest gift you ever give yourself.

Just look inside.

Thanks for listening,

Carrie

www.cihairstudio.ca

 

Girl, take a break.  Literally.

Girl, take a break. Literally.

I see you.

I see you pouring that second (or third) cup of coffee, trying to make the most out of every minute of the day.

You’re a doer.  Once you set your mind on something you aren’t satisfied until you achieve it.

You’re a hard worker.  Burning the candle at both ends.  Working a side hustle in the wee hours of the morning just so you can eventually follow your passion full time.  If that’s not your life right now, it was once.  You have to plant those seeds and nurture them before your passion can show in full bloom.

You are amazing.  Nobody tells you this enough.  Few understand what it feels like to have that burning desire for more live inside of them.  It’s easily misunderstood.

Here’s the thing though.  I can also hear you.

I can hear what you tell yourself when you don’t live up to your expectations.  When you don’t finish your to do list.  On the days when you’re so damn tired that you wonder why you are doing it anymore at all.  The days that your passion is merely a warm coal instead of a full flame.

Girl, take a break.  Literally.

Take out your planner (I know you’ve got one) and put yourself on it.  Again, literally.

15 minutes, 30 minutes, it doesn’t matter.  Just get your name on it, and here’s what you are going to do when the time comes.

Close your eyes, take a deep breath and hear these words:

‘You got this.’

You really, really do.  Deep breath again:

‘You are amazing.’

What you say to yourself is so damn important so remember to be kind.

‘You got this.’

Feel better now?

 

Thanks for listening,

Carrie

www.cihairstudio.ca

12 New Chapters, 365 New Chances

12 New Chapters, 365 New Chances

Okay, so this may not be a popular opinion but I think there are also people (yes, maybe you!) that can totally relate.

I’m off the resolutions train 🚂.   Done.  Nope, not for me 🙅🏼‍♀️

I’ve actually been off it for years, but here’s why:

A New Years Resolution implies a commitment of one entire year.

I know that’s not rocket science thinking, but please hear me out.

1 year.  That’s 52 weeks. 365 days.  Assuming you sleep 8hrs a night (haha!) that’s 16hrs/day for a grand total of 5,840 hours during the entire year that you intend to apply one (or more) resolutions too.

Is it any wonder that people get discouraged the very first time they fail to make that resolution their b*tch during the day?

That thing that can cause a hiccup? That thing that throws you off track from sticking to your resolutions? It’s called LIFE.

Life happens one second at a time.  One minute at a time. That’s 60 times in a single hour that anything can happen!

The phone rings, the internet is down, your little spikes a fever, the dog throws up…..you get the point, lol.  There are so many things that happen in a day that can put you off from living up to your resolution.  And you want to try doing this 365 days of the year?

We are our own worst critic.  Most of the time we would NEVER say the things we say to ourselves about our ‘failures’ to the people around us.  It’s human nature.  We are so quick to offer encouragement to others if they don’t live up to their resolution for one day, but get so incredibly down on ourselves when it happens to us.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t have goals. I’m a HUGE believer goals!!  Goals are how we grow and evolve and are an absolute must when putting effort into personal and/or professional growth. Put a date on your goals.  Figure out the steps you will need to take to acheive them.

What I’m suggesting is, Set your intention for each day but remember to allow for LIFE. You know that thing you are trying to improve by making those resolutions?  You have to remember to LIVE it at the same time.  Day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. Sometimes that means being kind to ourselves when things go wrong instead of beating ourselves up over it.  There’s a brand new day coming tomorrow that should offer the exact same type of excitement you feel when it’s a new year!

Embrace the moments and resolve to live life one day at a time.

This year there are 359 more days ahead of you.  I hope you enjoy each and every one. 💞 

 

Thanks for listening,

Carrie

www.cihairstudio.ca

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