Ever feel like you are hitting every single red light? ?  ? Sitting and drumming your fingers on the steering wheel, creeping slowly forward as you wait for it to turn green? Praying everyone in front of you spontaneously decides to turn right just so you can get moving? ?   It’s 11:20, you were supposed to be there at 11:15, and now you’re running late all because the dog was an asshat and preferred to roll in the grass instead of just taking the required ?  on it, so you could fly out the door! ??‍♀️ You know the feeling. Frustrated, living the longest seconds of your life ⏰  unable to take any kind of action that can move you forward. It’s the ‘Red Light Feeling’.

The ‘Red Light Feeling’ happens to all of us in our day to day life.

Super busy, fitting in as much as possible and becoming frustrated when something or someone interferes.  Wanting to do something, that for whatever reason, you literally can’t do.  Things like wanting to……. …leave a performance review before its finished? …hang up the phone long before the other person feels the conversation is over? Or what about….. …watching your toddler take 5 years to get their shoes tied? …staring at your partner while the steam slowly escapes from your ears ?  just waiting for them to acknowledge you are actually talking to them? Or what about the intensity of the feeling as grows leaps and bounds when you realize someone just doesn’t ‘get’ your red light life. Maybe having to bite your tongue ?  as you… …listen to someone tell you that it doesn’t matter that your child has special needs inside a classroom and that he’ll have to change his behaviour anyway? ? …wait 8 months to see a Specialist and no matter how desperately you need your situation to change, you have to sit at that ‘red light’ and listen while your thread of hope is once again swiftly cut, as they just suggest the things you’ve already tried 1, 567, 298 times? ? Those moments that you can’t stand to endure another second, but through physical, emotional or social barriers you are stuck. Whether for a minute, an hour, a month or even years, we all experience that ‘red light feeling’? Some people live these moments on repeat.  Some experience them simply because they choose not to remedy them – not leaving a few minutes earlier or not making different choices that could relieve them of experiencing the feeling. Some people live these moments constantly through years 1-18 of raising children ?‍? Some live these moments constantly as an individual with an ‘invisible’ chronic problem. Whatever the situation, it boils down to one thing – the DESIRE to do or change SOMETHING that a barrier (in any form) stops you from doing. So why talk about it? ?  If we all experience it what’s the big deal? ??‍♀️

Here’s the thing….we are all guilty of loosing perspective.  All of us.

We are all guilty of loosing sight of what is merely a red light inconvenience, and what essentially amounts to a red light life. You know what I think someone dealing with a Red Light Life day in and day out wants you to know? It’s just a red light you nut!! ??‍♀️  Take a deep breath, leave 5 minutes earlier next time, turn right if you’d like and most of all be grateful that these are your ‘problems’. Yes, I said be grateful. Keeping some perspective about a situation is a necessary practise and if hearing someone tell you that becomes a trigger, it’s more than likely true for you. Sorry, not sorry!! ? Life is not a comparison of ‘problems’ but sometimes everyone can use a gentle reminder of when its worth getting fired up ?and when you should actually be grateful that this is the worst thing that’s impacting your day ? And maybe, just maybe when we recognize someone actually living a red light life, we’ll send them love even if we can’t begin to understand the enormity of their situation.

The moral of this story? I’m calling myself out.

That asshat dog? He’s mine ??‍♀️ That red light? That was me sitting at the wheel drumming my fingers. And now at the end of my day, after some much needed reflection, I’ve decided that red light was my ‘right place at the right time’ reminder, that today was really a problem free, amazing day ? The next time I’m at a red light, late or not, I’ll be grateful for the perspective reminder. Life is good.  Don’t get wrapped up in the small inconveniences.  Do everything you can to keep your perspective and most of all – be grateful. Thanks for listening, Carrie www.cihairstudio.ca